Want Better Health? Fix Your Relationships First
Every July, Social Wellness Month invites us to reflect on the state of our relationships and the essential role they play in our overall health and wellbeing. While many people focus on diet, exercise, and sleep as cornerstones of health, the quality of our social connections often gets overlooked. Yet decades of research in psychology, neuroscience, and public health confirm what many of us feel deep down—our relationships shape how we think, feel, and even how our bodies function. Social wellness is not about being popular or having a packed social calendar. It’s about cultivating authentic, supportive, and meaningful relationships—those that enhance our mental, emotional, and even physical health. Whether it’s friendships, romantic partnerships, family ties, or professional connections, the health of our relationships deeply influences the quality of our lives. So, Want Better Health? Fix Your Relationships First. We’re going to show you how, let’s dive in.
The Science Behind Social Wellness
Healthy relationships don’t just feel good—they’re good for us. Studies show that people with strong social bonds tend to have lower levels of anxiety and depression, better immune function, and even longer lifespans. According to the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest-running studies of adult life, good relationships are the strongest predictors of happiness and longevity—more so than wealth, IQ, or fame. This is because our brains are wired for connection. When we feel connected, our bodies release oxytocin, the "bonding hormone," which reduces stress and promotes feelings of calm and safety. Conversely, chronic loneliness or relationship stress activates the body’s stress response, increasing cortisol levels and inflammation, which can contribute to chronic illnesses like heart disease and diabetes.
Hallmarks of Healthy Relationships
So, what does social wellness look like in real life? While every relationship is unique, the healthiest ones typically share the following characteristics:
Emotional Safety: You feel safe to express your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or retaliation.
Mutual Respect: Both parties value each other’s needs, boundaries, and perspectives.
Healthy Communication: Difficult conversations happen respectfully, and active listening is practiced regularly.
Support and Encouragement: Each person contributes positively to the other’s growth and well-being.
Reciprocity: The relationship is balanced in terms of giving and receiving.
Achieving and maintaining these qualities isn’t always easy—especially in high-stress times or when past traumas and emotional wounds go unaddressed. That’s where intentional work and, sometimes, professional support can make a profound difference.
Barriers to Social Wellness
Despite its importance, social wellness can be challenging. Many people struggle with unresolved childhood wounds, cultural conditioning, or past relationship trauma that makes healthy connection difficult. Others may be navigating the isolating effects of leadership roles or demanding careers, especially those in positions of influence like executives, pastors, or public figures.
Common signs that your social wellness may need attention include:
Frequently feeling misunderstood or disconnected
Difficulty setting boundaries or asserting needs
Repeating toxic patterns in relationships
Fear of vulnerability or intimacy
Avoidance of conflict to “keep the peace,” resulting in resentment
It’s essential to remember that these struggles are not indicators of failure—they’re signs of unmet needs and opportunities for growth.
Strengthening Your Social Wellness
Improving social wellness is not about becoming more outgoing or agreeable. It’s about learning how to connect in ways that are honest, respectful, and emotionally fulfilling. Here are a few strategies to help foster healthy relationships:
1. Practice Self-Awareness: Understanding your emotional triggers, attachment style, and communication patterns can help you show up more authentically in relationships. Journaling, mindfulness, and therapy are great tools for increasing self-awareness.
2. Set and Honor Boundaries: Healthy relationships require clear, respectful boundaries. Boundaries are not about keeping others out—they’re about protecting your emotional safety and capacity to connect in meaningful ways.
3. Lean Into Vulnerability: Real intimacy requires courage. Opening up about your fears, dreams, and experiences builds trust and deepens connection. Start small and notice how authenticity invites the same in return.
4. Invest in People Who Invest in You: Not every relationship is meant to last—and that’s okay. Focus your time and energy on people who respect and support your growth. Let go of toxic dynamics that diminish your self-worth.
5. Seek Support When Needed: Relationships can be complex, especially when old wounds or systemic patterns get in the way. Working with a skilled therapist can provide the insight, structure, and emotional support needed to break free from harmful cycles.
Social Wellness for High-Achievers
Many high-functioning individuals—especially leaders, entrepreneurs, and professionals—struggle silently in their relationships. On the surface, everything looks successful, but internally they feel stuck, isolated, or exhausted. The pressure to maintain appearances can prevent them from reaching out or acknowledging their emotional needs. If that sounds familiar, know this: you don’t have to do it alone, and you don’t have to keep spinning your wheels. Real, sustainable change is possible—with the right tools and support.
Real Support. Real Change.
Want Better Health? Fix Your Relationships First. If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or just ready for deeper connection, working with a therapist who gets it can make all the difference.
Brian La Roy Jones, MA Counseling, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, offers transformational therapy rooted in neuroscience, attachment, and body-based healing. He specializes in working with high-level professionals, executives, and leaders throughout California who are seeking more than surface-level solutions. With real tools, real compassion, and real structure, Brian helps his clients overcome patterns that no longer serve them—so they can lead and love more authentically. Through secure online sessions and flexible scheduling, Brian provides expert, grounded support that honors both your personal and professional life. Whether you’re navigating a high-stakes career, complicated relationships, or the quiet ache of disconnection, this is your invitation to reconnect—with yourself, with others, and with what matters most. Because social wellness isn’t just a goal—it’s a foundation for a meaningful life. To start a conversation with Brian today, contact him HERE!
